zaterdag 23 maart 2013

a little comparison

My mind pulled the brakes on life yesterday. And there is only one way to explain the feeling.

When i was 10/11 and still in elementary school, my mum asked me to come with her to a shop in the next city. I could use my sisters bike, one with gears. I wasn't used to cycling, so i got tired and had trouble keeping up at the end of the hour ride. But after spending some time in the shop, i was refreshed.
We headed home with the wind in our face, and i couldn't keep up with my mum. I told her the cycling was heavy, she said i shouldn't complain, being tired and a bit of wind wasn't a reason to go that slow. I was just asking for attention. After 15 minutes in which i did my very best to keep up (the last 5minutes crying). Though she was skeptic, she offered to change bicycles.
She found out i wasn't exaggerating, there was something wrong with the bike. Which made riding it extremely heavy.

That's how i feel right now.
Like trying my very best, to keep up with other peoples standards. Knowing there is something wrong with my verhicle. But no one wants to listen.

I know you all have the best intentions, but please just let me be. I will get there, my own way, my own pace.
Thank you

dinsdag 17 april 2012

Crafting the Craft

whenever i get sidetracked the thing that gets me back to being spiritual is crafting.

It relaxes me and makes me connect with the universe. And i love how putting time in making an item adds to the magic. Whether you make jewelry, paint, sculpt, make ritual oils, it is the time, the intention that matters.
One of the books I own* sais ‘your ritual already starts, the moment you start planning it’ and I love that.

For me crafting ritual items is important. I don't know why really, it just makes my connection/rituals more personal i think.

Since I made time for being spiritual, I adopted more different crafts. When I came across an auction show on tv, (about a year ago) I was captured by the beauty of a necklace, made from human hair. And though I didn’t see it as something I should do, it never left my mind.
When thinking about a gift for a handfasting ritual, I decided that I should give it a try, so I ordered some books about braiding. I don’t intent to make anything for this occasion (the couple lacks hair) but I hope I can do so on future occasions.

When looking for hairwork online I found great (non-braided) hair-jewelry

*this is not a litteral quote, and i really don't know wich book it was.

zondag 26 februari 2012

The causes of STRESS

Hello, and sorry, for not updating on the pagan blog project.
I will start joining from this point in time. (2nd D?)
I just had some personal issues, and exams.

First my exams, i ruined them and will have to retake almost all in summer.
Second. Four years ago, i had a friend with benefits, i cheated. He wished to never see me again.
I started waking up from dreams with him in it. Sometimes leaving me crying for days. For the past 3 months.
After which i wanted to go and visit him to tell him i'm sorry, but instead i send him a message (like many before) this time i got a reply. He forgives me :) I feel way better now.
Though i still need to work on my behaviour which caused this. It is a habit, and it's though replacing it by something better.

dinsdag 17 januari 2012

a fitting song.

it's hard to talk
to say what's deep inside
it's hard to tell the truth
when you've always lied

it's from the song how do you love someone.

It resembles the main problem i am facing right now. Mostly being honest to myself, but also not to pretend i'm someone else towards others. It doesn't feel right to live up to the 'image'. I just want to be loved for who i am inside, but therefor i need to express that.

maandag 16 januari 2012

A is for Animal totems

I picked this subject from the subjects posted by other people, i did not read the blog that covered this subject since i want to discover it for myself.

You can look at animal totems as spirit guides. The 12 astrologic signs western civilization uses all have a totem counterpart, but there are more totem animals that this.
Humans are supposed to be: co-creators with the Great Spirit of the world we live in. Animal totems support us doing so.

Your totem guide Works with you trough your life. It’s in you surroundings or in your mind when you need it most. A lot of people have only one totem during their life but you can encounter different totems trough life. Either when your First totem helped you solve the problems related to that animal or you choose a completely different path in life, which need different guidance.

All civilizations used to have rites of passage for young women and young men, usually find that place around the age of thirteen, fourteen or fifteen years. There must exist a community relationship among the older members of the community which will assist young people when they are ready for that stage, so that they can understand what it is to a man or a woman.
Today we don't have these rites.
To achieve a level of power you must go through a rite of passage that is always extreme, because it is so strong, so powerful. Totem animals guide you through this process.

Your totem might message or warn you. And often the things your totem tries to teach you feel uncomfortable, and give us fear. But by being bigger than that fear we reach spiritual growth.

As all things in life, they start having meaning to us, if we put time in it.
The Medicine of totem will only come into action in us, when we honor him. The greater our tribute, more important, we place our totem in our lives, the more powerful and effective it is.
Some ways we can honor our totem and involvement in our lives are involved:
 Pictures hang of it
 Drawings
 We know as much about your totem animal behavior to mimic (remember that by your imagination really come into contact with your totem)

My totem animal is a snake, but i only came across this when my life drastically changed, before that it was a dragon.
I had the life i was supposed to live, and was rather happy, but due to old sore i destroyed it, and i wasn’t reasonable enough to fix it.
Therefore my totem animal changed,

The snake
The Snake live intensely, is impulsive and mysterious and very ambitious. The Snake is determined, but sometimes also very stubborn, jealous and suspicious. Also, the Snake creative and has adaptability.

The snake symbolizes transformation, rebirth.
When the snake has grown out of his own skin he leaves behind.
I am working on letting people, relationships and other things that have no place in my life go. So I’m really sure that this is my totem animal, and I need to learn from it to grow in life.

The thing i had for dragons is huge, and storing them away did mean a end of a period to me. I didn't found out about my snake totem very fast. I happend to come across a LOT of workshops on animal totems but never cared to look into it. My ex who never remembers dreams had a dream of a snake biting exacly where i did, so he was convinced the snake was me, and i was like nah, i'm a dragon.
Actually i'm only aware of it since i started writing this. So i think it's a great expirience already.

I prefer mimic as the way to contact my totem, and i do this by practicing yoga.
But i feel like trying the other ideas i came across, and will try them soon.

With Love, Elizabeth

donderdag 12 januari 2012

pagan blog project

I'm joining the Pagan blog project.
Writing about spiritual subjects each Friday, with alphabetic subjects. With 24 letters and 52weeks i'll cover the same letter two weeks in a row.

I missed the first week. But i'm really looking forward to getting started.

zondag 25 december 2011

2011 is comming to an end

Have you tied up your loose ends

This is a link to an article about things you can do to start the new year 'fresh'. Without having the never ending to do list somewhere in the back of your mind.

I think i'll try some of the things on it. Though i will have to studie, so there won't be time for all.